Banana nut babies.
So as I sit here eating banana nut bread from Starbucks, shoving 420 delicious calories down my throat without regret, I've been pondering things. Not that I need to stuff my face to think, but at least if I'm eating, food is one less thing I'm thinking about.
I frequently speak to one of our IT guys at work named Steve, he's awesome. It makes work go by a little faster for the both of us, I think, writing emails back and forth in between whatever work we're doing. We speak about many random things, and aside from teaching me Japanese (he's not asian), some of our conversations are less silly and more serious. One of our conversations today happened to be about children, and how there should be an easier way for them to ask for and get help if they should need it if they are suffering any type of abuse. This is a touchy subject, but it's something courts often fail at. Too many kids don't receive help soon enough even though there are clear signs of something very wrong in the home. Many others gain the fortune of being placed with a different family member, and then the misfortune of being placed back in the care of the abusive household. It had reminded me of a case about a two year old girl that that had happened to. The mom's boyfriend had been abusing the child and while there were clear signs of abuse, and many chances to save the child, the court failed her. She was taken and placed with grandma, only to be placed back with mom and boyfriend later. She died later after being kicked too hard in the abdomen. Her father was away in the military, and that's what he got to come home to. What was most infuriating to me about that story was that child could have been saved. She had a chance. Some kids don't even get that.
Since I've had my son, I'm sensitive on stories like that. I can't read too many stories bout children being harmed and/or dying in such ways, because it hits me in a severe soft spot. I'm a big baby. Mainly because I love my big baby (who will be three this year, where the hell did the time even go?)
I'm trying to keep on top of everything and keep busy. I'm trying to keep the months rolling by smoothly so I can get through this year and get closer to being with David. But at the same time, I don't want it to fly by too fast because, Graysen. I want to enjoy him while he's young. Because I'll probably want to sell him when he hits his teen years.
I had to leave work early to go to a court date. So I feel out of sorts. I've been up since 330am YAY. I'm tired, so that's what Starbucks is for. I know, classic white girl. They caught me. Bastards. Seriously though, I have no shame in the art of deliciousness. At least I'm not walking around in sweat pants that have "pink" on the butt, a coach purse and an iphone with a pink diamond colored phone cover. LIKE, FABULOUS, GUYS.
Seriously, though, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm so used to this little creature about waist high hovering under my feet and clinging to my leg that in his absence I often end up confused as to what I should do with my life. Like those moments when I walk into the kitchen and stand there staring into space because I don't remember even feeling like I needed to go into the kitchen prior to walking in there. Tina from Bob's Burgers comes to mind: "uhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Speaking of Bob's Burgers... Please excuse me while I make a blanket fort and watch Netflix.
Don't judge me, this is my only free time before I must pick the tyrant up from daycare.
Odd one out.
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I have to be one of the only people I know who doesn't look forward to the weekends. I can't look forward to sleeping in, because Graysen has me up between 5 and 6. And I usually can't look forward to plans because I often have Graysen with me. I don't go out much, and I guess that's #parentlife. But I do miss being able to go out every so often. I don't have many sitter options, like, at all. And his dad often "picks up a shift" or somehow gets scheduled to work late or switches weekends. In other words, he's not that reliable. But, I mean, that's okay. But as a result, especially because it's winter, I usually end up really bored on weekends which leaves me a bit frustrated. So I look forward to the week days where I can go to work and pass the day more efficiently.
I think another part of my blah mood is that David is in training right now and not really allowed to use his phone so I only hear from him once or twice per day. And that totally sucks. It has a bigger impact on me than it maybe should. I just end up feeling bored and lonely. He's the person I talk to the most. So when that's suddenly gone I'm just kind of like, hm.
Today wasn't terrible. I wasn't able to really go out and do anything (and it was too cold for me to want to) but I still dressed up in a cute-ish outfit. And I still did my hair cute with a hair styling utensil I don't even know what it is called but bought as a special package last year. Took care of some bills, and have to get ready for my court date with my son's father to talk about child support, yay. I don't think I'd mind if the courthouse wasn't downtown. I hate downtown. The driving is annoying because of so many one way streets and parking is horrible. Sigh. And I'll have to wait in line to get through security so, that'll be fun. Sort of.
We did go out to eat and the food was awesome. But, naturally, I ate too much and I'm surprised my pants aren't more snug. I suppose my day wasn't that interesting.. I've just been blah throughout the day while simultaneously doing things to try and pick up my mood. At least I tried.
But, I suppose, the tyrant needs a bath, so I should get on that. Them terrible twos are no joke.
In my honesty.
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Yet again, fail at blogging. I haven't felt like keeping up with the blog about my son, because I've just decided keeping up with 3 blogs is not in my to-do list. I feel like just writing a random post like nothing happened would be almost weird.
Currently, I'm reading Gone Girl. I didn't buy it, I borrowed it from my supervisor who bothered me until I started it because she decided to hand it to me while I was literally in the middle of finishing my previous book, Another. I'm not going to say it's the best book ever, but I will say I didn't expect it. That, and it prevented me from having to go to any book stores to buy yet another book, so yay, money saver.
For those who don't know about or have no interest in my other blog specifically about my weird romance, I did get engaged as of December 28th, 2014. I am happy. We have a ways to go, however, as far as being able to finally be together. He's in the army, stationed in Texas. Right now he's in California for 4 weeks training and preparing to deploy to Korea late this summer. Currently he's not able to contact me much because they're out "in the field" and so I'm incredibly out of sorts and, well, bored. He gets out of the army in June, 2016. Just a few months after he returns from deployment. If we can just make it through this last stretch, he'll finally be back home and we can start our life together (and actually plan our wedding). That's what's essentially keeping me going: "If I can just make it through this last stretch."
I was able to get a new car. I had a Dart (which I actually didn't like), and it was a lease, and I had quickly decided leasing was a terrible idea. David (fiance) and I went in together to buy this car. I'm so glad to be owning again. It's a 2012 Hyundai Elantra for those actually curious. I uninitentionally managed to find one loaded with features I completely enjoy (like heated seats) and I have a lot of fun driving it.
I've lost 40 pounds. That's all my baby fat, and then some. I am 12 pounds under my pre-pregnancy weight. I am pretty proud of myself, and I like how I look. I went from wearing a size 11-12 jeans to (apparently) a 5-7. Both the new pair of jeans I bought for myself recently were a size 5 which I would not have guessed I'd ever fit into. It's a nice feeling. I'd still like to tone my tummy, though. That doesn't magically tone up just by dropping weight after you have kids (for most women), haha.
Also (one of my most exciting moments), as of February I have finally completely paid off one of my bills that had me in debt. I now only have 2 left. It'll still take a while to get this all sorted out, but I'm very happy to finally be on the right track. My credit is also no longer "very poor" and is now "Fair". And I no longer have anything under my name in collections. It's very exciting, finally getting back on your feet. Hopefully by early next year, when David is getting ready to come home, I'll be completely out of debt and we'll be moving into our own place :)
Thanks to pinterest and my sheer boredom I've decided today is craft day for me and little man. I went out and bought the things we will need and we're going to make 3 different crafts. Just as soon as he wakes up from his mini hibernation.. I'm excited. I think he'll have fun. I specifically looked for crafts designed for two year olds :D
I'm probably in too good of a mood today (probably not actually possible). I even did my hair. Not going anywhere, but I did my hair. Because you wanna look classy making crafts that glitter and stick but smell nice.
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