Banana nut babies.
So as I sit here eating banana nut bread from Starbucks, shoving 420 delicious calories down my throat without regret, I've been pondering things. Not that I need to stuff my face to think, but at least if I'm eating, food is one less thing I'm thinking about.
I frequently speak to one of our IT guys at work named Steve, he's awesome. It makes work go by a little faster for the both of us, I think, writing emails back and forth in between whatever work we're doing. We speak about many random things, and aside from teaching me Japanese (he's not asian), some of our conversations are less silly and more serious. One of our conversations today happened to be about children, and how there should be an easier way for them to ask for and get help if they should need it if they are suffering any type of abuse. This is a touchy subject, but it's something courts often fail at. Too many kids don't receive help soon enough even though there are clear signs of something very wrong in the home. Many others gain the fortune of being placed with a different family member, and then the misfortune of being placed back in the care of the abusive household. It had reminded me of a case about a two year old girl that that had happened to. The mom's boyfriend had been abusing the child and while there were clear signs of abuse, and many chances to save the child, the court failed her. She was taken and placed with grandma, only to be placed back with mom and boyfriend later. She died later after being kicked too hard in the abdomen. Her father was away in the military, and that's what he got to come home to. What was most infuriating to me about that story was that child could have been saved. She had a chance. Some kids don't even get that.
Since I've had my son, I'm sensitive on stories like that. I can't read too many stories bout children being harmed and/or dying in such ways, because it hits me in a severe soft spot. I'm a big baby. Mainly because I love my big baby (who will be three this year, where the hell did the time even go?)
I'm trying to keep on top of everything and keep busy. I'm trying to keep the months rolling by smoothly so I can get through this year and get closer to being with David. But at the same time, I don't want it to fly by too fast because, Graysen. I want to enjoy him while he's young. Because I'll probably want to sell him when he hits his teen years.
I had to leave work early to go to a court date. So I feel out of sorts. I've been up since 330am YAY. I'm tired, so that's what Starbucks is for. I know, classic white girl. They caught me. Bastards. Seriously though, I have no shame in the art of deliciousness. At least I'm not walking around in sweat pants that have "pink" on the butt, a coach purse and an iphone with a pink diamond colored phone cover. LIKE, FABULOUS, GUYS.
Seriously, though, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm so used to this little creature about waist high hovering under my feet and clinging to my leg that in his absence I often end up confused as to what I should do with my life. Like those moments when I walk into the kitchen and stand there staring into space because I don't remember even feeling like I needed to go into the kitchen prior to walking in there. Tina from Bob's Burgers comes to mind: "uhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Speaking of Bob's Burgers... Please excuse me while I make a blanket fort and watch Netflix.
Don't judge me, this is my only free time before I must pick the tyrant up from daycare.
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